As I noted yesterday, I was hoping to cross two items off the list on Thursday: #5: Scatter the ashes of Mr. 42's parents and #6: Eat a Godfather's taco pizza.
No prob on #6. Fail on #5.
The plan was to replicate a tradition in Mr. 42's family, during which they ate a meal at Godfather's, visited Fort Atkinson and then bought fireworks on their way home. Obviously, the fireworks part is not going to be possible in September, but we thought we could accomplish the other two things, with the main intent being to scatter the ashes of Mr. 42's parents at Fort Atkinson.
This didn't work out, for several reasons:
1: There is a question of legality regarding scattering ashes in a public place. It is possible we could have gotten caught and gotten in trouble, like a ticket for littering and maybe a fine or community service.
2: We actually opened up both containers, and there is more "ash" than we thought there would be. The internet indicates the average female leaves four lbs of ash, and the average male six lbs. That's 10 lbs of ash, people, and also . .
(Skip the next two paragraphs if you're squeamish.)
3: It's not actually ash. What's left after the cremation process is a dried pile of bones, which the crematorium then pulverizes for you in a special blender-like device, so that you have a much more compact pile of cremains that is uniform in consistency. Well, sort of, anyway. Mr. 42's dad was cremated in Colorado (where everything is inferior!) and had a lot more . . . um. . . bony chunks and chips in his container than Mr. 42's mom, who was properly cremated and processed here in Nebraska. It made me a bit weak in the knees to look at the cremains, actually. There is no way the 10 lb. pile of bony chunks and white bone powder could have been scatterable without being conspicuous. Some of it would have been too large to be dispersed by the wind.
*Also, side note: don't take the bag of ashes out of the container provided by the crematorium. The bony hunks in Mr. 42's dad's cremains tore little holes in the bag and we had a small mess on our hands. Ahem.
If you learn nothing else from reading these entries, I hope you will all consider what you might like to have done with your remains after you die, and will let your family know. I suggest also making it easy on them and NOT ask to be scattered someplace that will present logistical or legal difficulties, such as Memorial Stadium. How about someplace nice and personal like the garden in your own backyard? (To be fair, Mr. 42's parents did not request to be scattered any particular place. We thought it would be neat to scatter them at a state park they had enjoyed as a family, without realizing how impractical it would be. We brought this on ourselves, and it has made us think about what we want for our own final resting places.)
Both of us were sad that we could not accomplish #5 on the list, and it feels like we're leaving something undone, but it's not the end of the world. We will be taking Mr. 42's parents to Philadelphia with us. Mr. 42's dad actually loved to travel and would probably have enjoyed the trip. Mr. 42's mom was more of a homebody, but she loved being near her husband and son and would probably be happy to be on the trip for that reason. We'll figure out what to do with them once we get there, which may just be buying a fancy urn to keep them in, rather than trying to secretly scatter them somewhere meaningful but illegal, or paying hundreds of dollars to put them in a scattering garden or scatter them at sea in an official and legal manner.
No prob on #6. Fail on #5.
The plan was to replicate a tradition in Mr. 42's family, during which they ate a meal at Godfather's, visited Fort Atkinson and then bought fireworks on their way home. Obviously, the fireworks part is not going to be possible in September, but we thought we could accomplish the other two things, with the main intent being to scatter the ashes of Mr. 42's parents at Fort Atkinson.
This didn't work out, for several reasons:
1: There is a question of legality regarding scattering ashes in a public place. It is possible we could have gotten caught and gotten in trouble, like a ticket for littering and maybe a fine or community service.
2: We actually opened up both containers, and there is more "ash" than we thought there would be. The internet indicates the average female leaves four lbs of ash, and the average male six lbs. That's 10 lbs of ash, people, and also . .
(Skip the next two paragraphs if you're squeamish.)
3: It's not actually ash. What's left after the cremation process is a dried pile of bones, which the crematorium then pulverizes for you in a special blender-like device, so that you have a much more compact pile of cremains that is uniform in consistency. Well, sort of, anyway. Mr. 42's dad was cremated in Colorado (where everything is inferior!) and had a lot more . . . um. . . bony chunks and chips in his container than Mr. 42's mom, who was properly cremated and processed here in Nebraska. It made me a bit weak in the knees to look at the cremains, actually. There is no way the 10 lb. pile of bony chunks and white bone powder could have been scatterable without being conspicuous. Some of it would have been too large to be dispersed by the wind.
*Also, side note: don't take the bag of ashes out of the container provided by the crematorium. The bony hunks in Mr. 42's dad's cremains tore little holes in the bag and we had a small mess on our hands. Ahem.
If you learn nothing else from reading these entries, I hope you will all consider what you might like to have done with your remains after you die, and will let your family know. I suggest also making it easy on them and NOT ask to be scattered someplace that will present logistical or legal difficulties, such as Memorial Stadium. How about someplace nice and personal like the garden in your own backyard? (To be fair, Mr. 42's parents did not request to be scattered any particular place. We thought it would be neat to scatter them at a state park they had enjoyed as a family, without realizing how impractical it would be. We brought this on ourselves, and it has made us think about what we want for our own final resting places.)
Both of us were sad that we could not accomplish #5 on the list, and it feels like we're leaving something undone, but it's not the end of the world. We will be taking Mr. 42's parents to Philadelphia with us. Mr. 42's dad actually loved to travel and would probably have enjoyed the trip. Mr. 42's mom was more of a homebody, but she loved being near her husband and son and would probably be happy to be on the trip for that reason. We'll figure out what to do with them once we get there, which may just be buying a fancy urn to keep them in, rather than trying to secretly scatter them somewhere meaningful but illegal, or paying hundreds of dollars to put them in a scattering garden or scatter them at sea in an official and legal manner.
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