The Circle of Life

I have been haunted all weekend by some sad news I received on Friday--the deaths of two people.

First off: the father of my high school boyfriend passed away. He was a photographer by trade and was also the guy who took my senior pictures. I haven't been in touch with the ex-boyfriend or his family in more than 20 years, but it's always sad to hear about the death of someone you knew. He was 68--a little on the young side nowadays, but he lived a good full life: two marriages; children, step-children and grand-children; assorted careers and fulfilling work.

The second one is the one I can't get out of my head. I doubt if any of you who read this blog knew her so I'll go ahead and include her first name--Courtney--as well as pictures and some other sad details I found.

To begin, this is a senior pic of Courtney, from 1982 or 1983.

I don't think this picture fully shows how beautiful she was, but you can see here that she was a pretty girl with creamy golden skin and a great smile. Her family lived down the block from my family back in our hometown. She was six years older than me, and had a little sister who was a year younger than me. I first met her when I was six or seven, and she soon became a favorite babysitter of me and my sister. 

Courtney was the cool babysitter who would bring her record collection with her when she came, or would sit and listen to our 45's and K-tel records with us all night and compliment our taste in music: "Oh, Tom Petty. 'Don't Do Me Like That' is my favorite song right now." She had waist-length hair in that beautiful kinky/curly 70s style and wore glittery and gauzy flowing blouses with her jeans and clogs. She taught us how to make snow ice cream. If she brought her little sister along when she babysat (which she often did), we would hold beauty pageants and make Courtney and any of her friends or boys who sometimes visited  be the pageant's judges. I remember a particular pageant that resulted in a three-way tie, so Courtney made me, my sister and her sister have a "dance-off" to "Shake Your Groove Thing" by Peaches and Herb to decide the winner. (I think her little sister won that one.)

She once babysat us during a horrible storm (maybe even a tornado?) that knocked the power out in the whole town, felled trees and peeled paint off houses and shingles off rooftops. Somehow she kept three scared little girls calm and quiet in the dark until our parents could make it home hours later. One of her methods involved the telling of ghost stories and an edited-for-kids re-telling of the plot of the movie "Halloween."

There were hints of trouble even then. Courtney would smoke my parents cigarettes (or bring her own) when she babysat. She was probably 13 or 14 at the time. I seem to remember some alcohol, too, from her parents' liquor cabinet or beers from my parents fridge, but that may not be accurate. For a short time, she was having some trouble with some kids in high school, and Courtney's mom started sending the little sister to stay at my parents' house after school, until she could pick her up after work. Courtney left town shortly after graduation, and one evening, her mom came to see my dad (a lawyer at the time) because Courtney had been arrested and was in jail out in Denver, the first of what would be a string of troubles across her lifetime. She was sent to Valley Hope (a drug and alcohol recovery center) not long after that. I saw her for the last time a few years later, and she still looked like the Courtney I remembered.

Flash forward to this.

Yes, this is Courtney. This is her mugshot from an arrest last November, in which she is alleged to have stolen enough goods to constitute a Class 3 Felony in Nebraska (this was no small theft). Since this wasn't her first arrest, she was likely looking at some prison time and/or a big fine

This week, she died "in her home," according to the obituary. I don't know what happened for sure, but I'm guessing she either killed herself, or the lifelong drug and alcohol problem led to an early death.  

It's hard for me to reconcile the pretty young woman I remember (like the first picture) with the more recent photo and news of Courtney. I don't know what prompted her early downward spiral. When she was a young teen, her parents went through a messy divorce that was very hard on the kids, but I think her difficulties were happening before that. I can see from her obituary that she must have had some good times, too--she went to business school, had children and even grandchildren and worked for her father for a short time. 

Did I mention she was only 48?

RIP, Courtney.