Closing the Circle on 42.

Well, it's the first anniversary of my little 42. blog, and I think it's a good time to close shop here.

I've got a decent number of entries for the year, and this blog is testament to the tremendous life changes I've created and/or experienced in the last year, including:

--relocating from my lifelong home of Nebraska to one of the Top 5 largest cities in the US

--quitting a job I worked at for 19 years and thought I would probably work at until I retired or they laid me off (more on that in a sec)

--realizing that I need to take control of my career, rather than assume a corporation is going to do so

--leaving immediate family as well as friends (some of whom I've had since high school) for a city where I knew no one, and finding out I can still make new friends, even in my 40s

--confirming my lifelong assumption that I truly did marry my best friend, and that we'll celebrate 20 years of this event in September 2013

--transitioning (over the last six years, though it was all part of a process) from an 1,800+ square foot house with two-car garage that we owned, to a two- bedroom apartment we rented in the downtown of an urban area (a huge transition in and of itself), to a one-bedroom apartment we rented in a major urban area, and realizing it's all for the better and what I really wanted all along but was afraid to say so

--getting rid of my car and ceasing to be a regular driver, for the first time in 28 years. It's been almost ten months since I last drove a car and I couldn't be happier!

--learning that it's not too late for a do-over, and that old (or middle-aged) dogs still can learn new tricks

--finding my voice, in more ways than one

The closing of this blog comes at a good time. I started a new job this week, as you know, and it is terrific so far (and amazing to me, if for no other reason than to prove to myself that I could do it). Also, I learned just yesterday that my former employer (parent company) has sold the life insurance subsidiary I used to work for, to a third party from the UK. As a result, many of my friends have lost/will be losing their jobs, and I am sad for them, but also happy for myself that I chose to separate from the company on my own terms.

(Not that I blame anyone who didn't handle it the way I did. It was generally a decent place to work and they made it easy to stay there. This is something all of us have seen before, on some level, and we knew/know it was/is always a possibility. I hope the company honors the severance packages it has traditionally offered in situations like this. My 20th anniversary with the company would have been in May, had I still been there, and while I would have enjoyed the Movado watch I was going to get, I promise you that I enjoy my new life outside of the company even more.There IS life after the "Hands" company, and it's good. You'll see. Best of luck to you all.)

Boycat just pee'd on the bed, which is also appropriate (or at least expected) in light of his recent circumstances. Sigh. It's always something.

But before I go, a couple more brief comments.

Keeping 42. for a year has helped me work through many issues in a way that only writing things down can do. Several years ago, Mr. 42's mom gifted us with a copy of an amazing book called Write It Down, Make It Happen by Henriette Klauser. She had read it and talked about the "proof" of it she had experienced in her life. Mr. 42 and I both read it and began putting it to work.

The author ascribes the power of it to a more "spiritual" influence than I probably would, being an atheist (or agnostic, depending on which day you ask me), but I have always been a firm believer in the power of the written (or typed) word. Many times I have observed that I and others can speak our truth through the written word in a way that we can't articulate verbally, even to people we love and trust. Sometimes it means we speak this truth only to ourselves, but often it is only to ourselves that it needs to be spoken to. That is the lesson I took away from Write it Down. If you want to believe that putting your intentions on paper sends them out into the universe (or to God, or to the Gods and Goddesses) in such a way that they simply must happen, I'm okay with that. As I said above, depending on what day you ask me, that might be the explanation I would give, too. Other days, it seems that writing things down (or typing them, even) helps YOU as the writer to clarify what you really want. It makes you focus on something in a way that helps it transition from being a pleasant, occasional passing thought ("Wouldn't it be nice if ...") to something you have thought about, written about, clarified, confirmed and are now making plans for.

Writing it down doesn't mean it will happen right away, or in exactly the way you had planned. This is how Philadelphia happened for us. We had our sights set on Boston, and life threw us a few curveballs that meant that wasn't going to happen when we wanted. What we didn't know at that time was that things wouldn't happen in Boston at all, but having lived here in Philly for ten months now, I am positive we ended up in the place where we were meant to live. (XOXO to Boston friends. Let's get together soon!)

What took place throughout that process (and for a good six months before we even began telling people of our plans): thoughts about what we wanted in a new city and how we wanted to live when we got here. Articulated on paper. Written down, more than once, across several notebooks and in two laptops. Refined and revised and reaffirmed, constantly.

Here in Philadelphia, a full 25 months after our notes about moving and starting a new and different life in a big city first began, I am here to tell you: it works!

Thanks to everyone who has followed this blog and taken time to comment or even just "like" on FB. I plan to take a short blogging break before beginning anew somewhere else (probably in Tumblr and in a completely different frame of mind).  Cheers!--Ms. 42

My Last Day of Freedom

Today is my last (week) day of freedom. I return to work full-time on Monday, 7/15.

As excited as I am about the new job and about getting back into a regular routine, and in spite of the occasional stress of not having a full-time income since early September 2012, I'm feeling a bit sad today for the loss of my free time that will come next week.

All this past week, Mr. 42 and I have been doing fun stuff that we won't be able to do when I'm working full-time again:

Mr. 42 and a fresh pitcher of Pimms and Sunshine, National Mechanics

• Leisurely lunches at off hours that included beer
• Getting tipsy in the late afternoon before Happy Hour even starts 
• Two karaoke nights
• Our first trip to the King of Prussia Mall, which is America's largest shopping center. It ended up being a seven-hour ordeal for which we had little to show but a couple of shirts from a clearance rack. Three of those seven hours were spent on buses to get there and back. The mall was huge but just a typical mall, which means 85% of the stores are ones I'll never set foot in--clothes for kids and teens, baby goods, home furnishings and decor that are not my style, etc. Another 2% were large department stores, all of which had many of the same things. The other 13% were stores that we have here in Center City within walking distance. Neither of us see any need to revisit the KOP anytime soon. (If we can't find something here in Center City, it probably means we don't need it.)
• Boring but important errands I ran on weekday mornings and afternoons that can suck up entire weekends, like getting haircuts, going to the drugstore, grocery shopping, etc. 

Still on tap: a weekday movie matinee today; walking up to my new office in order to time the walk and see what interesting shops and restaurants are in the area; painting or crafting of some kind.

I wouldn't say I've made particularly good use of my time off. I didn't complete any major projects people always say they will do, like writing a novel. I didn't establish a regular exercise routine. My apartment is not organized from top to bottom nor free of any specks of dust. 

A series of miniature paintings I completed in June

I haven't entirely wasted that time, either. I got some arts and crafts done that were very satisfying. I did lots of writing, both here and for my freelance job. I read some great books and saw some amazing movies. I went to some concerts that were fantastic. I learned how to code in HTML, as opposed to just not goofing up the existing code. I learned basic Javascript and Prezi. I explored my new city and learned how to get around in it, on foot, by train and by bus. I have new favorite restaurants, bars and museums I will visit again and again. I met lots of people and made some new friends. I spent a lot of time thinking about what I want and don't want in my life.

One of the best books I've read in a while

A Prezi I created as a demo for potential employers

To be honest, there was not as much "leisure time" in there as I expected. Hunting for a job really is a full-time job. Some online job applications take an hour or more to complete, even if you already have all your past job info, salary history and reference contact info lined up. Phone interviews and face-to-face interviews require a great deal of preparation. Plus, I still had (and will have) my part-time/freelance job, seven days a week.  

In this last month and a half, I was just getting to the point that most people probably won't see until retirement (and maybe not even then), where time itself was becoming meaningless. I was waking and sleeping when I felt like it, eating when I wanted to and giving my days only the loosest of structure. I would think a lot of time had passed and discover only 30 minutes had passed. I would think it was still early in the afternoon and discover it was somehow 4:00 PM already. I remember my late MIL could never recall what day it was, not due to dementia or absent-mindedness, but because her days had no structure after she retired and she stopped looking at the calendar. Birthdays and holidays went by and she didn't always realize it, so they were celebrated (or not) when they were remembered. I am unsure how much longer it would have taken me to get to that point, and whether or not that would be a good way to live. 

Overall, I'm calling the time between September 2012 and mid-July 2013 a brief period of semi-retirement, filled with fun and adventure and a little anxiety. It looked a lot like my own parents' retirement has looked so far. To some degree, I regret not spending that time more wisely, but I realize, too, that it was a luxury I probably won't get to enjoy again for a long time. It has definitely taught me the value of time as I go forward. 

Time to take a nap before we catch that movie.